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So What Happened? The Backstory

If we started this story when I got my first ever positive at-home pregnancy test, this journey began June 2022.

In just over one year, 377 days, I have been pregnant three times that totaled 181 days of knowing I was pregnant, had two hospital stays that totaled 13 days, and have two sets of spiritual ashes and one set of physical ashes. Forty-eight percent of the last 377 days, I was pregnant and I still do not have a physical living child.

During those 181 days of knowing I was pregnant, I was on pelvic and/or bed rest for 52 days, which required me to be working remotely or off from work completely for almost two months.

There were people in my life that didn't know I was pregnant even once, while there were other people who knew I was pregnant the same amount of time as I did, or even before the pregnancy test came back positive.

Since June 2022, I have had two miscarriages and most recently, one stillbirth. Miscarriage is pregnancy loss before 20 weeks that affects 10-20% of pregnancies. Stillbirth is pregnancy loss after 20 weeks that affects .6% of pregnancies each year in the United States.

During my most recent pregnancy, I had a few medical complications including placenta previa, vasa previa, and velamentous cord insertion which less than .04% of pregnancies per year have/experience that put me as a high-risk pregnancy. After doing some more research, between all my complications with a stillbirth taking place, the chances of this happening are less than one in three million.

Since the stillbirth, I am processing and grieving along with my husband, friends, and family. The things that happened could not have been predicted, prevented, or treated. All the pieces of this story were pure chance and, I have to keep reminding myself, not my fault.


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